Notes for Valentines Day
and Beyond

Wishing you a Valentines Day that is filled with love.

Faster than you can blink an eye,
love circles the planet and fills the sky.
Your light grows brighter with each heart you meet,
It starts when you’re still and feel your heart beat.
Inside out, outside in, Send love out and bring it in.

If you’ve ever attended a child’s class Valentine party, you’ve seen how enthralled children are to open each and every valentine. Starting around age three, children not only enjoy receiving valentines, they take great delight in giving them. Many children also begin to express their affection and love by drawing and presenting their pictures and homemade cards to their parents and teachers. Most parents receive an assortment of pictures and cards containing colorful rainbows, hearts, and words of love--which are all the more precious because they have been written phonetically. These pictures and love notes will fill your heart--as well as boxes, files, and a significant portion of your garage.

For parents and their children, Valentine’s Day includes the lovely ritual of expressing their love through the exchange of cards. But if you’re only giving your children cards and notes on Valentines Day and on their birthdays, you’re missing out on a wonderful opportunity. Through the written word, parents can express love, encouragement, appreciation, concern, and understanding. It’s also an effective way to settle a misunderstanding, offer an apology, or express constructive criticism.

During the turbulent teen years, notes and letters can be a wonderful way to keep the lines of communication open and to gain a deeper understanding of your child. And while it’s easy to let a thoughtless or angry remark slip out of our mouths, writing notes requires us to be reflective as we carefully choose the words that will communicate a clear and thoughtful message.

Sometimes, older children and teens are more comfortable expressing their heartfelt emotions through the written, rather than the spoken word. My teenage daughter writes me notes with a depth of thoughtfulness and understanding that takes my breath away. The colorful cards of her childhood have been replaced by letters that express her growing maturity, love, and the agony and joy of young adulthood. Whether your child is three years old or seventeen--cards, notes, and letters, are a great way to deliver a message of love and understanding.

Here are some ways to use the written word in your relationship with your child:

Use notes to express love.
Children can’t be told too often that we love them or that we’re thankful to be their parent. In addition to telling your children that you love them, leave little love notes in visible places—taped to the bathroom mirror, by the front door, etc.

Use notes to express appreciation and thanks.
When your child surprises you by straightening a room or helping with the dishes, write a quick thank-you note and tape it where he or she is sure to spot it.

Use notes to congratulate and celebrate.
Young children love to receive mail. Occasionally, surprise your child by sending a congratulatory note in the mail. For example, “Congratulations! You finished your science project! Let’s celebrate with a scoop of ice cream!”

Use notes to apologize.
If you lose your temper, or make a mistake that affects your child, write an apology note. You will be teaching your children to accept responsibility for their actions and to make amends to anyone who is harmed by them.

Use notes to remind.
While verbal reminders can feel like nagging, notes can clearly list the chores your child is expected to do.

Use notes to encourage.
When your child will be facing a particular challenge at school, tuck a note in his lunchbox or backpack saying, “You can do it,” or, “I have faith in you!”

For older child or teens:
Use notes to gain understanding and to stay close.
Share a journal with your older child or teen. Pass it back and forth and keep it in a place where each of you can get to it and easily express your feelings.

Use notes to show concern and clear up misunderstandings.
If your child becomes defensive and angry when you try to correct his behavior, notes can be especially effective. A thoughtful note can clear up a misunderstanding and help to ensure that constructive criticism is taken in the spirit that it is intended.

February Special!

The Floppy Sleep Game Book and The Inside Out Blessing Game CD make wonderful Valentine's gifts for parents and their children. They both include a number of visualizations and meditations which focus on receiving and sending love.

Place an order for either item at www.pattiteel.com and receive free shipping. Just write, "Feb newsletter" in the section, How did you hear about us and the shipping charge will be deducted. That's a savings of $3.95!

The Dream Maker's February Dream Starters

Dream Starters are visualizations which promote relaxation, imagination and well-being as they guide children into the world of dreams.

Getting Ready

To prepare for these dream starters, (or visualizations), create a quiet comfortable atmosphere in which your child can relax.

Step One ~ Progressive Relaxation (Tensing & Relaxing Muscle Groups)

Have your child lie down in his bed.  Have him lift each arm and leg individually, holding each limb tightly before loosely flopping it down on his bed.  Then have him wrinkle his face and hold his eyes tightly closed, before relaxing his face.  (Tense each muscle group for at least 5 seconds.)

Step Two ~ Focus on the breath

Have your child get very quiet and watch his own breath.

Step Three ~ Creative Visualization

Now that your child is relaxed, read (or tell) one of the following visualizations.  Of course, feel free to modify it according to your child’s age and interests. 

Visualizations:

By creating their own special place, children will be making a retreat for relaxation, a place they can visit at will, through visualization. You can stop at the end of this short visualization, or continue with “A Special Letter,” which corresponds with the theme of this month’s newsletter.

My Special Place

(Excerpt from The Floppy Sleep Game Book)

Close your eyes. Imagine your own special place, a beautiful place where you are relaxed, happy, and safe. (Pause) Decide whether your special place will be inside or at a beautiful spot outdoors. (Pause) It can be anywhere you want it to be: in a castle, in a garden, in the woods, by the ocean, or even in Dream Land. It’s totally up to you. (Pause) Walk around your special spot. (Pause) See the colors and smell the air. (Pause) You can come here whenever you’d like. Your special place is a wonderful place to relax and dream. Find a comfortable spot to lie down and relax. (Pause) Enjoy how wonderful it feels. (Pause) What do you see around you? (Pause) What do you hear? (Pause) Remember everything about your special place: how it looks, feels, and smells. (Pause) You can come here whenever you’d like. (Pause) Dream dust sprinkles down upon you, filling your special place with warmth and making all your dreams come true.

(Continue, or if you’d like a shorter visualization, you may wish to begin here.)

A Special Letter

Through the sparkling dream dust, a letter is slowly floating down towards you. Watch it as it turns this way and that, before gently landing on top of your heart. Perhaps it came from your special angel. Pick it up and carefully unfold the paper. The letter says: Be happy. Be healthy. You are safe. You are loved. You are valued. The loving words make your heart feel warm. (Pause)

Sparkling, glittery dream dust magically appears at the bottom of the letter. The sparkles form words that say, Pass it on. Think of someone you’d like to send the letter to. Choose someone you love. It could be your Mom or your Dad, your Grandma or Grandpa, or a special friend. (Pause) When you’ve decided who to send the letter to, fold it up and toss it into the air. (Pause) A soft breeze picks up the letter and magical dream dust carries it to the person you’ve chosen. (Pause) Imagine how happy that person is to receive the letter. Reading it, the person’s heart grows warm, and so does yours. (Pause) Again, sparkling, glittery dream dust magically appears at the bottom of the letter--forming words that say, Pass it on.

All through the night, the letter is passed to boys and girls, moms and dads, and grandmas and grandpas all around the world. Everyone who receives the letter feels good. And it feels just as wonderful to pass it along and make someone else happy. People everywhere feel happy, healthy, safe, loved and valued---just like you.

Variation:

Have the special letter contain specific words of encouragement, crafted to help your child with a challenging situation that he or she may be facing.