At this point, I realized that I had a few choices: 1.) skip the wedding of an old friend, 2.) grudgingly make the trip, while continuing to harbor my grievance--making myself and everyone around me miserable, or 3.)  accept my itinerary and enjoy the adventure. 

Wisely, I decided on option three.  And I’m so glad I did! 

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change….
(Such as airline tickets accidentally purchased on bargain bidding sites)

The Courage to change the things I can,
(Such as my attitude)

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

Once I accepted my fateful itinerary, I was ready to enjoy each and every moment of it.  And my entire trip served to remind me that when we are fully present, the universe conspires to bring wonderful circumstances our way.  My life was enriched by the people that I met on each leg of the journey.  The connection with one fellow-traveler was so strong that we plan to stay in touch.  If I’d had a different flight schedule, I would have missed making this delightful connection. And if my baggage had included itinerary grievances, my negative emotional energy would have influenced everything I did and everyone I met. 

The effort that it took to travel was miniscule, compared to the indescribable joy that I felt when I saw Connie walk down the aisle.  I hadn’t expected to be overcome with emotion.  Of course, I was happy for my friend. Still, nothing prepared me for Connie’s shining radiance.  It was as if I could see into her soul.  She was the epitome of a person who was living in the moment.  There was not a trace of self consciousness, apprehension or nervousness on her face.  In all my life, I have never witnessed such beauty and unbridled joy.  Connie’s tribe of friends and family recognized it as well.  The authenticity of her joy touched our very souls and the entire church burst into spontaneous applause.  Connie felt the depth of our love and was momentarily overwhelmed with emotion.   

My trip included many other magical and touching moments.  As I think back upon it, I can recognize that the gifts were bestowed upon me once I was open to receiving them.  And I could receive them once I got rid of the excess baggage, (i.e. my complaints and grievances.)  We often believe that we’ll be happy at some point in the future when--and only when--this, that, or the other happens.  But in reality, we can enjoy the present moment when we take responsibility for our inner state.  After all, happiness truly is an inside job. 

Helping Kids Turn Around Negative Thought Patterns

Like adults, many children—especially older children and teens, can become habitual complainers.  It’s easy for it to become an unconscious habit, which means that kids don’t even realize they’re doing it.  They may even get used to watching for situations in which they think they’re being treated unfairly.  Oftentimes, their perception does not come close to the reality of the situation.

As a parent, common sense tells us that it’s important to be a positive role model and become aware of our own negativity.  After all, when we are around someone who is enthusiastic, positive, and cheerful, we often will find that our spirits are lifted.  In contrast, when we are around someone who chronically complains, our mood and energy are likely to plummet. 

Still, if your son or daughter is a chronic complainer, simply modeling positivity may not be enough.  And we don’t want our children to simply stuff their negative feelings inside themselves and feign happiness.

The starting point for real change is to help kids to be in touch with how they feel—and what is real inside themselves.  One of the most effective ways to do this is through relaxation. 

We know that children who can purposely relax their bodies and mind have an easier time sleeping.  But it can also be the first step in being able to work through their negative feelings, problem solve, and improve everyday experiences. 

The steps that can help children to fall asleep can also help them to deal with their negative emotions. 

Step One:  Guided Relaxation
Teach children to first tense and then relax each of the muscle groups, a technique known as progressive relaxation.  Oftentimes, negative feelings present themselves as tension within a child’s body.  But when the body relaxes, negative emotions may be released as the mind becomes clear and calm. 

Step Two:  Focusing On the Breath
Children are naturally fascinated by their own breathing, just getting quiet and paying attention to it is extremely soothing.  Rather than thinking about the worries of their day, as children focus on their own breath, their minds will continue to become quiet and calm.

Step Three:  Accessing the Subconscious Mind
After relaxing their bodies and focusing on their breath, the conscious mind is relaxed enough to access the subconscious mind.  At this point, visualization as well as positive affirmations and thoughts can be extremely powerful and bring about healthy, positive changes.  

The creative resources and imagination of the unconscious mind can bring about insights that solve problems and move kids away from being afraid to being confident, from being stressed to being relaxed and from being unsatisfied to being happy.  It opens the door to the vast intelligence of the unconscious mind. 

For an array of fun relaxation techniques for children,
check out The Floppy Sleep Game Book. 

October Dream Starter:
A Surprise for the Flower Fairies

Dream Starters are visualizations which promote relaxation, imagination and well-being as they guide children into the world of dreams.

In this month’s Dream Starter, the Dream Maker takes the Dreamers to surprise the Flower Fairies with magical pumpkins.  The Dreamers leave their concerns on Willow tree’s strong shoulders and slide down to the Forest of Dreams.  It is autumn in the Forest of Dreams and your Dreamer picks a magical jack-o-lantern to give to the tiny Flower Fairies they can play in when the weather gets cool.  But there’s a surprise for the Dreamer’s when they find out they can play with the fairies in the jack-o-lanterns too.  After much fun playing in the jack-o-lanterns, the Dreamers fall asleep in the comforting flowers and soon wind up in their own bed.

Click here for the printer friendly version of this month's Dream Starter.

Download an audio version of this month's Dream Starter here.

© 2008 Patti Teel, All Rights Reserved
info@TimeOutwithPattiTeel.com
www.TimeOutWithPattiTeel.com